Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

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Mark Boyle
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Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

Postby Mark Boyle » Sun Jul 22, 2007 01:47

Just finished it.

And will be re-reading it again & again & again.

It is BLOODY FANTASTIC!

That film is gonna be utterly kick arse when it comes out! :D

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Re: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

Postby Alternate BC » Sun Jul 22, 2007 09:35

Mark Boyle wrote:Just finished it.

And will be re-reading it again & again & again.

It is BLOODY FANTASTIC!

That film is gonna be utterly kick arse when it comes out! :D


So. Who died ? All of them, i hope ?

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Postby Ady » Sun Jul 22, 2007 12:18

yeah who snuffed it-unless its harry himself you can put any name really-as i don't know any of the charcters............

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Re: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

Postby Pet Lamb » Sun Jul 22, 2007 17:45

Alternate BC wrote:So. Who died ? All of them, i hope ?


Don't sit on the fence will you...? :wink:

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Postby Lol Drake » Sun Jul 22, 2007 20:38

I don't think it was the best book. I'm not going to say who died, but that bollocks about "two of the main characters die" from JKRowlings mouth was just that, bollocks.

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Postby Mark Boyle » Mon Jul 23, 2007 00:15

Lol Drake wrote:I don't think it was the best book. I'm not going to say who died, but that bollocks about "two of the main characters die" from JKRowlings mouth was just that, bollocks.


I suppose it's what you mean by main characters...I mean it was fairly obvious that one of the two main characters - either Harry or Voldermort had to be pushing up the daisies by the end, even then it could be argued that Voldermort spends that much time in the books "off screen" that he doesn't really count as a main character, not in the same way Harry, Ron, & Hermione are.

And I think we can guess from the way it was written which two characters were bumped off at the last minute - more for effect methinks - one of which I thought "thank ****" because she was a complete waste of space & little more than a gimmick character.

Favourite bits (in code as to not give things away) : the Kreacher, Lovegoods & Snape bits, & the big finale - kinda knew it would all end there I suppose! :D

Bits that SHOULD have been in if J K Rowling did want to make all those analogies of the real world she claimed she was trying to make:

Voldermort forces Scrimegeour to resign after sending some embarrassing photographs of him that appear in The Daily Prophet of him being caught in a compromising position involving Dolores Umbridge, a pigmy puff, a Smeltings Stick & a jar of Marmite. They are originally sent to The Quibbler but rejected as “obviously fake – now if it had involved a House Elf, Murlap Juice & Bertie Botts All Flavour Beans….”

Unfortunately for Voldy-poos, he's arrested for 13 years of unpaid back tax when he was supposedly dead, finding out the hard way that there are no Dark Arts darker than those practiced by any governmental tax department.

As it is announced that the next Minister For Magic will be by direct election after Scrimegeour announces that “he wishes to spend more time with his family”, Lucius Malfoy takes over the Death Eaters & promises to take "the constitutional road to government by the democratic process": that is getting backing from the mega rich, buying off the media, & avoiding any questions on such embarrassing policies such as using mudbloods for Department of Mysteries experiments & putting the services at St Mungos Hospital For Magical Maladies to Compulsive Competitive Tendering.

Harry, Ron & Hermione go straight into "meddling kids" routine to try & get Mr Weasley elected instead, whilst Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle & Parkinson do everything to stop them. Unfortunately they split the vote which results in Luna Lovegood becoming next Minister Of Magic. Thousands of witches and wizards promptly snap their wands & decide perhaps a life in the suburbs as accountants driving 4x4 peoplecarriers wouldn't be so bad after all.

Meanwhile the Leaky Cauldron& the Hogs Head get bought out & turned into theme pubs by the Weasley twins: several Imperius curses later & Cho, Ginny, Fleur Delacour & Hermione are the talk of the steamie with their new part-time employment as pole dancers. Harry is thus sent on a new quest by McGonnigal to bring Snape back to conjour up a potion to put in the Hogwarts pumpkin juice "or there's never going to be any work done this year!" Meanwhile Mr Filch the caretaker is declared the 2007 "Most Eligible Batchelor" by the Daily Prophet.

Disaster strikes when Gringotts almost collapses after Griphook the goblin puts most of the bank’s money on “Lucky Boy” at the 2.30 Hogsmeade Thestral Steeplechase. Outraged magical households send their house elves to mount a hostile take over bid (involving a lot of blunt instruments & gratuitous violence), but new Gringotts Chairman Kreacher says accountholders can go screw themselves if they think they’re getting access to any of their remaining money: “You left it here, you were the ones that threw it out instead of keeping it in a box in your cupboard, oh yes, so it’s mine now – mine, mine, mine!” Muggle Prime Minister Gordon Brown offers him job of Chancellor of the Exchequor for his “prudent management of finance”.

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Postby Lol Drake » Mon Jul 23, 2007 00:48

I think that would have been a better book.

JK just seemed to faff around, describing things in a couple different ways, going on too much and annoying me. Was she getting paid by the word or something? Nowhere near as good as the last 2 books. The other books have been able to really raise emotions in me, but this one was just "and such and such died, and Harry felt a bit of grief, but soldiered on and then saw something unimportant that I felt I had to describe in great detail. I felt I had to describe it in such detail, that it would bore everyone to tears. So strong was my urge to describe it in great detail, that I banged on about it for pages, until someone else died and Harry felt a tiny bit of grief but soldiered on, a bit annoyed at the fact that he hadn't got his leg over with Ginny yet. This was followed by a predictable ending and an even more predictable sequel chapter."

Such a shame, I'd really been looking forward to this book :(

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Postby Pet Lamb » Mon Jul 23, 2007 02:54

Spin offs anybody...? :wink:

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Postby frostbyte » Mon Jul 23, 2007 08:16

...and Harry discovered that rubbing his own wand was far more enjoyable than mucking about with magic, so he did, forever after and lived to be an old man with a very healthy prostate.....
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"

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Postby Meenie » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:00

:lol:

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Postby Pet Lamb » Mon Jul 23, 2007 13:03

frostbyte wrote:...and Harry discovered that rubbing his own wand was far more enjoyable than mucking about with magic, so he did, forever after and lived to be an old man with a very healthy prostate.....


Sounds like my kind of book... :lol:

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Postby Mark Boyle » Mon Jul 23, 2007 21:58

In work today I had several muppets with no interest in the book whatsoever asking about who dies.

Vaguely guessing what their intentions were: ie. spoiling it for everyone else they could find, I gave them the following list (after e-mailing everyone else warning them what was going on) after getting them to promise they'd not tell anyone in the office.

"Right, the important deaths in Deathly Hallows are:

Joe Mumfin - the Head of the Auror Department (killed by a bomb explosion in the battle in the sewers & the biggest casualty)

Bertie Bomfa - head of Ravenclaw House - killed by accident by Harry

Soluable Bumthrust - the owner of the Three Broomsticks inn - murdered by Voldermort

The Nurk Twins - two Death eaters - Luna Lovegood ducks & they end up
"Aveda Kedadra"ing each other!

Sheila Pastie - a minor Hogwarts character & friend of Harry Potter - she
is killed by throwing herself in front of an Aveda Kedavra (killing curse)
meant for Harry

Regulus Umlaut - Voldermort's right hand man - dies not realising that the
Deathly Hallows are cursed to all but direct descendents of Slytherin.

Like I said, DON'T TELL ANYONE IN HERE. Agreed?

Mark"


Point to anyone that spots the Doctor Who inspired fake death amongst the above.

:lol:

Of course they didn't keep to their half of the bargain: the second they got that info, they tried to use it for all manner of things - there was enough egg on faces to make a Face Omelette by the day's close

:twisted: